in Truth lies different reactions

I can't understand how this hurts me. Its just a dream, it doesn't come true... But why does it give such impact of... digust. I can't get it out of my head, how much the dream became a reality to me. one fear of being judged differently, I can't believe its happening again. I won't listen again, I'll just cover my ears with music that i could relate to, and one day get on that plane to escape this pain.